Saturday, 11 May 2019

You look sad and lonely, is something wrong tonight

Image result for san marino heart eurovisionSan Marino
Say Na Na Na

Bless. The entire population of San Marino - Eurovision's smallest participant - could fit inside Expo Tel Aviv, and still leave room for the shawarma stalls. They first entered back in 2008 in Serbia with a man that looked suspiciously like 80's illusionist David Copperfield - but it came last with 5 points in the Tuesday night semi. Apparently I was there, but I suspect on listening to it back that at the time I was trying to find a drink, the toilet or my will to live.

I mean it must be pretty tricky to find talent when your population is less than a tenth of Swindon's but even taking that into account, since that 2008 debut San Marino have entered some dross - most notably the year they tried to enter a song about Facebook but were made by the EBU to remove the word Facebook from the chorus, leaving the panicked San Marinese delegation to instruct 39 year old Valentina Moretta to just sing "Hello, oh oh oh" instead. "If you wanna come to my house, click me with your mouse".

In ten years they've managed to get to Saturday night once, and it's hard to see Serhat making it twice. Broadcaster SMtv basically rents its Eurovision slot out to the highest bidder, and this year Turkish singer, producer and television presenter Serhat has again stumped up the suitcases of cash to be their bloody good rep. He's like a kind of Turkish Pitbull - not the dog breed, but the middle aged bald man in a suit - and just like Pitbull, he doesn't so much sing as mutter utter sleaze whilst women a quarter of his age writhe around the creep.

In the press blurb he boasts that "wrote Say Na Na Na in 5 minutes". It's amazing to think it took that lomg.