Like a leaf blows with the wind and resists it

Slovenia
Zala Kralj & Gašper Šantl
Sebi

I used to have a bit of a soft spot for the Slovenians, if for no other reason than because whilst we thought we were being all "ironic" with that Scooch abomination , they'd done it better in 2002. Would you like something to suck on for landing, sir?

There is another reason. It's an amazing country. Its people are friendly, its restaurants are cheap, its caves are dramatic, its climate is lovely and its the safest I've felt at night in any European country ever. We went there on holiday the other year and we loved it. Sure, it's a Poundland Italy, but stop being such a snob about Poundland. I saw you, scoffing that box of Pergale chocolates.

They're also pretty funny. For example, the other year their National Final interval act spent three brave minutes ripping the piss out of one Vladimir Putin, with lyrics like "when I play chess be quiet or eat my pussy riot", and "If you are a prick - suck my Moby Dick".

So I can't really forgive them this year. They cruelly rejected my favourite national final season song Fridays by Ula Ložar, a sort of electro swing song with a hint of "Da Bop" in it about having a night away from her unpleasant boyfriend. Instead we get this harrowing, charmless Gen Z miseryballad from one of those couples that are very much in love and don't really see their friends any more and buy garden tools together and you suspect the're secretly on heroin or in a cult or something and to be honest that's fine because you absolutely hated them anyway.