The country formerly known as the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia but now known as North Macedonia has only managed to qualify once in the past decade, and even then they didn't deserve it - belting out a balkan trouser-suit ballad that I managed to miss in its entirety as I took a carefully timed three minute wizz (air).
You ought to recognise this year's entrant Tamara Todevska, because she's been in in it before, in Semi Final 2 in Belgrade in 2008. She literally scraped in tenth in that semi with some dick head ruining it by rapping lyrics like "We can do it so slow, kiss in slo-mo, until dawn breaks, then I ride out slomo" but the rules in 2008 gave the tenth slot exclusively to the juries who cruelly sent her home, and instead handed the slot to a lazy schlagery entry from Sweden.
So Tamara's back for revenge - on Sweden, and on stupid men. "When one month ago, I got the invitation to represent my country at the Eurovision Song Content in Tel Aviv, (aside from my enthusiastic and happy YES 😁), the first thing that popped up in my mind was, what will be the purpose of my participation at the contest? What is it that I want to say? What is it that I want to share with the world?
"You see, for me, Eurovision has never been about entering the finals, being in the top 10 or even winning" (thank god). "Eurovision, to me, has always been so much more than that". Ah.
"Today, as I look at my daughter, I want her to grow up in a world where people will not judge her, tell her how to act, smile and move. I want her to know that she doesn’t have to follow the rules to be accepted. I want her to be whoever she wants to be and most importantly, be proud of who she is. That’s the least I can do for her"
So it's an absolute spine tingling belter of a ballad, and it's about feminism - just as their 2000 entry was about "Girl Power". "The Spice Girls have a lot to answer for", mutters Wogan as he crashes the vocal, which is rich coming from him.